F.A.I.T.H
It was time, she double checked the file , checked her purse, grabbed her mask , the fire truck toy and locked the door to leave , but something came upon her, she felt the need to get inside, look at herself in the mirror, and give a big cry. She was done looking away from herself, she was done not facing herself and her emotions, she was done hiding them behind a brave face and a fake smile. While she was at it, time ticked away and she realized that she had to be there for her little boy while they injected him with sedative and took him away to the Operation theatre.
That day had finally come, the day she dreaded , the day when her 3 yr old little boy was being laid on a table to be operated for a issue he has since birth. It was a big day, a very crucial day and she dint know what to feel. She did not know what to think. Exactly 2-3 hours from that very moment, whatever the surgeon tells her could make or break her. But she did not want to think about it. She had to make sure her expressions did not give away the fear and pain she was battling , for she had to keep everyone happy, that was what was expected of her. She said a silent prayer, hugged her boy and kissed his forehead, whispered in his ears '' you are my favorite" . He looked at her with the kindest of smiles and just before she could get enough of it, it was time to step away, hand him over to those strangers in scrubs.
She stood by the big doors of operation theatre, peeping into the small class window every now and then in anxiety. Her limbs shaky , her hands trembling and her lips mummering all the prayers she could possibly recollect. Will she ever be able to say a prayer ever again if something went wrong? Will her relationship with god be the same? A lot was riding on this one surgery, a lot more than she had imagined.
The silence of the place was unnerving and the dim lights were becoming more difficult to cope with. Right when she decided to sit down after standing and shivering for 2.5 hours straight , the door opens and doctor steps out. She tries to move towards the doctor, but cant seem to be able to walk, she tried harder, but without a success. She closed her eyes, shed a tear and took a deep breathe. And managed to walk towards the doctor one step at a time. The three precious words '' It went well'' echoed the room , calming her nerves and giving an instant blood rush, a very severe headache and she folded her hands in front of him in 'namaste'' and said 'thank god, thank you doctor''. Doctor smiled and walked away.
She left a thank you note to everyone who has been trying to reach out to her, sending prayers and wishes. She sat down on a chair , gulped some water out of a bottle she never realized she was carrying all this while. She let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep, the kind she hadn't experienced since a long time now.
